Sunday, January 25, 2015

How To Avoid Codependency Relationships

By Karyn Shields


It is not a good thing for people to become codependents. Not only are they bound to suffer, they will also make their partner unhappy. Codependents stay in a relationship and give something to it while expecting something in return. If this codependency mindset is what you have when you are in a relationship, that will surely ruin you.

If you do not want to cause grief to your partner, then you have to make sure that you do not turn yourself or your partner into a codependent. It will be good for you if you can take advantage of a few tricks so that you can avoid turning the situation into something like that. To avoid such situations, here are tips you can take advantage of.

First, you need proper counseling. Through proper counseling, you turn yourself into a healthy individual. Indulging yourself in a healthy relationship is possible then once you become a healthy individual. It should not be difficult for you to improve the relationship you have with your partner if you are healthy personally.

There is no need for you to quantify the amount of love you have given to your partner. That is what becoming a codependent means, after all. You are just giving what you expect to be returned to you. If you want a healthy relationship, then you have to give your 100 percent into the relationship without expecting anything back.

You got to address the cause of your pain. In every situation that you feel hurt or you get angry, there is always a cause for it. You should be willing to look for that cause behind the behavior that hurts you. You should then be willing to address that cause. Otherwise, you will not find a solution to your problem.

Personal boundaries are necessary for people to have. It does not matter whether or not you are already intimate with your other half. These personal boundaries should be kept not only for your sake but for the sake of your partner as well. You must always respect the personal boundary the two of you agreed to set up.

Being in a heated argument is natural. Being partners does not mean that the two of you should have the same mindset. If the two of you are in an argument, you should do your best to not let out insulting words against your partner. You should never insult them, call them names, or label them. You will not be able to take them back later.

Your partner might be the one giving the insults though. In such situations, you should think about why your partner has said that. It might just be because your partner feels like you are not doing enough. You better convert the words your partner makes into the words that are really being said in that argument.

You cannot avoid conflicts. Whenever you and your partner gets into a conflict, you should not forget to think up of a conflict resolution that can help you make up with each other. At times, it is better to decide on the conflict resolution method together. Pick one where the two of you is satisfied to use.




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