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We each have these imperative moments that we reach in our lives. Sometimes, for some, it occurs sooner than later. For others...it takes years upon many years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to the point where we know, within the midst of our hearts, that things must change. This desire for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There truly is a different form of energy to it. Honestly, there's a different feeling to it altogether.
You have to do the most frightening thing you will ever do - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. At the end, I'll always remember that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the complete stacking up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that tiny match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, a week later, it reached its lowest point. Absolutely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that pitch black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I woke up the following day gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the awareness that I could reconstruct my entire world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
Just as significantly, I would need to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everyone else, to be fully responsible for my whole life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching anybody. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Discomfort was kept away from me...joy remained hidden covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding avoided my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did that. I started writing. I started being truthful about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My backbone and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping kind of agony that will scare you to death. It scares you because it makes you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The reality is, that's where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there is strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to the place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the sort of feeling that you know that everything around you could be wiped out, and you most definitely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Real power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I will absolutely continue to shine. "
Face your nightmare. Face your fears. You don't have to be afraid to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Need love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that's impedeing you. You really are going to have to dive deep into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No shields. No weapon. No type of effort to rise above all of it.
You must go in exposed and exposed.
You'll come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you will surely come out. I'd never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I assure you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest journey you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can assure you...this place, is where life really begins.
You have to do the most frightening thing you will ever do - face your greatest nightmare...yourself.
My moment came in late 2011 and it was not by choice. I remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I wouldn't forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. At the end, I'll always remember that deep burning feeling of turning to ashes. It really wasn't just the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the complete stacking up of dry leaves and hay from years of neglect...and that tiny match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the start, a week later, it reached its lowest point. Absolutely rock bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that pitch black dark room, it wasn't granted, and I woke up the following day gazing at a crumbled landscape...with the awareness that I could reconstruct my entire world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
Just as significantly, I would need to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would find out how to support myself for once, to not blame everything on everyone else, to be fully responsible for my whole life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the superb things in you from ever reaching anybody. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Discomfort was kept away from me...joy remained hidden covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding avoided my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over fresh.
I did that. I started writing. I started being truthful about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My backbone and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I could create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, here's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark seeping kind of agony that will scare you to death. It scares you because it makes you think that if you go there you will get caught in it and drown. The reality is, that's where your strength is. There's unimaginable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there is strength in great and deep faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to the place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this kind of belief in yourself that's beyond confidence. It's the sort of feeling that you know that everything around you could be wiped out, and you most definitely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Real power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and irrespective of how you challenge me...I will absolutely continue to shine. "
Face your nightmare. Face your fears. You don't have to be afraid to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Need love in your life? You really are going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that's impedeing you. You really are going to have to dive deep into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sword. No shields. No weapon. No type of effort to rise above all of it.
You must go in exposed and exposed.
You'll come out. You may cry, suffer, and hurt...but you will surely come out. I'd never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I assure you, this is the one place you should go for everything to release. To build something new, to begin living the grandest journey you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I can assure you...this place, is where life really begins.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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