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Conflict is common to all relationships. Most married people have had their share of disagreements due to their different personalities, backgrounds and expectations. You may find yourselves arguing, disagreeing or bickering on a regular basis over particular issues. Some conflicts can ruin your relationship. It is therefore important to know how to resolve them. If you develop the skill of couples conflict solution, you can protect and preserve your relationship.
Sometimes, conflicts begin with the possibility of making a major change. Your partner may give you a hostile response after you have stated your case. He or she can yell, talk over you or tune out completely. At the beginning stages of conflict resolution, the process that you use is more essential than what you say. In order to disagree in a healthy manner, both of you need to develop good listening skills.
In order to resolve an issue, you need to allow your spouse to speak about his or her worries, frustrations or concerns. Allow your partner to express feelings in a safe way without feeling that he or she is being ridiculed. This way, your partner will be more willing to listen to what you are saying.
People who have an issue should speak about the way they feel without blaming their spouse. Statements which assault the character of a spouse directly can end up damaging the relationship. For example, a person who is frustrated with the jealousy of his or her partner should not claim that he or she is totally irrational. It is better to inform the jealous partner that he or she becomes irritated when accused of flirting during innocent conversations. Although this strategy is direct, it does not challenge the character of a person.
As you address an issue, you should also not make generalizations about your partner. Avoid using words such as never and always. If you use them, your partner may become defensive and begin coming up with examples should that he or she really does the things you are speaking about. You should try to create a discussion about how your spouse can be more helpful and attentive.
In order to have a constructive discussion, it is important to stick to an issue at a time. When you are unhappy, you are likely to drag several topics into one discussion. When you are planning to solve personal problems, this is not the correct strategy to use. When you raise many complaints at once, it is less likely that you will get any of them fully solved.
When your partner criticizes you, do not automatically object to his or her complaints. Being defensive will not solve your problems. Therefore, take time to hear what your partner has to say and really consider it.
You can also deal with conflict in your relationship by consulting with a couples counselor. You can discuss about your conflicts with the counselor. Couples counseling can help you to express your desires and emotions in a respectful and safe environment. It can also heal the hurt brought about by emotional neglect, bereavement and infidelity. The counselor will work with you to build a more intimate and meaningful relationship.
Sometimes, conflicts begin with the possibility of making a major change. Your partner may give you a hostile response after you have stated your case. He or she can yell, talk over you or tune out completely. At the beginning stages of conflict resolution, the process that you use is more essential than what you say. In order to disagree in a healthy manner, both of you need to develop good listening skills.
In order to resolve an issue, you need to allow your spouse to speak about his or her worries, frustrations or concerns. Allow your partner to express feelings in a safe way without feeling that he or she is being ridiculed. This way, your partner will be more willing to listen to what you are saying.
People who have an issue should speak about the way they feel without blaming their spouse. Statements which assault the character of a spouse directly can end up damaging the relationship. For example, a person who is frustrated with the jealousy of his or her partner should not claim that he or she is totally irrational. It is better to inform the jealous partner that he or she becomes irritated when accused of flirting during innocent conversations. Although this strategy is direct, it does not challenge the character of a person.
As you address an issue, you should also not make generalizations about your partner. Avoid using words such as never and always. If you use them, your partner may become defensive and begin coming up with examples should that he or she really does the things you are speaking about. You should try to create a discussion about how your spouse can be more helpful and attentive.
In order to have a constructive discussion, it is important to stick to an issue at a time. When you are unhappy, you are likely to drag several topics into one discussion. When you are planning to solve personal problems, this is not the correct strategy to use. When you raise many complaints at once, it is less likely that you will get any of them fully solved.
When your partner criticizes you, do not automatically object to his or her complaints. Being defensive will not solve your problems. Therefore, take time to hear what your partner has to say and really consider it.
You can also deal with conflict in your relationship by consulting with a couples counselor. You can discuss about your conflicts with the counselor. Couples counseling can help you to express your desires and emotions in a respectful and safe environment. It can also heal the hurt brought about by emotional neglect, bereavement and infidelity. The counselor will work with you to build a more intimate and meaningful relationship.
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