Wednesday, February 4, 2009

How to Build Amazing Self Esteem

By Malcolm Clarke

Various occurences in our life effects our self esteem on a daily basis. Positive things cause an increase in our levels of self esteem and how we feel about ourselves, whilst the negative events in our life have the opposite effect. We strive for positive events to help keep our levels of self esteem constant, so we can control our temper and reactions to life.

Our home and family life has a large effect on our self esteem levels. Our relationship with our partner, our relationship with siblings and other members of our family have a huge effect on self esteem as we go through our life. What we gain from a good family life helps us maintain self esteem levels as we deal with the various challenges that life brings. Having the solid foundation a good family brings gives you stability in your feelings about yourself.

Those from a challenging personal background are more likely to blame life for negative events that happen to them. This is because their self esteem is impacted negatively because of their hardship. Their feeling of upset is made worse by the fact that deep down their low levels of self esteem makes them feel that they somehow deserve suffering. Those with higher self esteem and self worth have a larger desire to fight.

To increase our self esteem we should focus on what areas of our life we are particularly successful in. For instance, if you are a respected footballer, this may be the area of life you focus on when you need to feel better or you need a quick injection of confidence. Do not fall into the trap of not valuing what you do well, simply use it regardless of what it is to feel better and increase your self esteem. Then you can try new things and hopefully find a talent you never knew existed.

Not that self esteem is not a ticket to allowing yourself to appear very over confident. Business people are often overly confident. Whether or not this confidence is genuine is open to debate, but nevertheless the individual themselves always know their true feelings. We cannot hide our true feelings for ourselves, so we must ensure we do all that we can to improve our levels of self esteem.

During adolescence self belief is an area of our lives that we debate fiercely. How teenagers feel about themselves can be a battleground of emotion. Young woman in particular are plagued by thoughts about their weight, what others think about them and all of these emotions impact on their feelings about themselves, and their self esteem. As a parent, the biggest challenge is working out whether the happy child is really happy and is not carrying inner turmoil around inside as their personal feelings towards themselves develop.

Self esteem is complicated because you can feel successful and confident about one area of your life whilst totally at sea in other. What is important is that you focus your attention on staying positive and working on those areas that need attention, so you are always moving forward and not allowing the negative feelings to take over and cause unhappiness to take a hold of you. Always remember that you ultimately have a choice about what you feel and what you think about.

Your aim should not be to increase self esteem is levels that are higher than others, but to create a level of self esteem and self worth that you can keep at a consistent level. Many acts of murder and assault are created when a person is dealt a blow to their self esteem or their respect is questionned. If you can develop a consistent level of self esteem you can control your actions in difficult circumstances.

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