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Good Morning United States, and world, and, uh, guess I'll throw in the universe, too. You never can tell, some gloopy alien with five eyes might be keeping track of those strange critters on earth. It might even be reading this article right now making sure we're not being contentious and guilty of a borning revolution to the alien galactic empire.
Hello, Gloopy Alien. I wonder if he knows what this here finger of mine is for? Hah.
Speaking of weird and Gloopy Aliens, the founder of modern Karate, Gichin Funakoshi, was about 80 years old, and was out for his nightly walk. The night was ominous, Japan was in an unsettled state, and he saw a mugger waiting on a street corner. Gichin knew, deep in his heart, that that mugger was going to try to mug him.
Hey, you think a mugger's going to risk picking on somebody who is big? Nope, muggers want to get on with their work with the least amount of personal risk, you know? Smart guys, these muggers are.
To continue with the tale, Gichin keeps walking, and he makes sure he looks feeble and doddering, and as he passes the mugger and the mugger leaps at him, he whirls and grabs the mugger with a grip of steel. Now, you might be wondering just how he gripped the mugger. A nerve center that immobilizes the body totally--a death grip on the carotid artery?
Well, uh, no. He grabbed him by the, um, chestnuts. The cajones, you know..the apples.
He grabbed him by the children he might sire some day, by the future, by his only source of fun on those long, lonely nights that frustrate a mugger when he is all by himself and can't find anybody who even remotely likes him. Now the founder of modern Karate has a mugger by the embarrassment, and what is he going to do next? Does he flick a set of knuckles to the throat and crunch the Adam's apple...cause it to swell up and stop the mugger from breathing?
Does he execute a spear thrust with one hand to the chest and pluck the mugger's heart out and take a big bite while the horrified mugger watches in horror? Or does he just start to squeeze. Squeeze slowly, and watch the blood drain out of the mugger's face, and the life right out of his shaking body, and the very joy out of his future?
Squeeze, until the nutty pulp runs out from between his gnarly, old fingers. Squeeze, until a loud popping sound fills the night air. Squeeze, until the mugger screams like a little girl and falls to the pavement, never to enjoy the feel of loving again.
Gichin called for the constabules. Yep, he stood on that street corner and held that mugger and waited for the police. And the mugger was trotted away to jail to think about his crimes, and the unnerving experience of having his manhood held by another man.
What a lesson for a mugger, eh? Another lesson of the interesting type would be if you looked up the history of the word testament and where it really comes from. Anyway, the reason I relayed this little anecdote is this...don't walk down that dark alley.
Yep. My students have heard me say this, and they know what I mean. When you have a choice of a long walk down a lit street, or a short trip through a dark alley, take the long way.
You can tell you've made it to the top of the martial arts when you can see a dark alley before you reach it. A sunny street in a friendly part of town might be a dark alley if there's some mugger waiting for you. And you should have developed, through those endless hours of practice, the extra perception to know the difference between a dark alley and a well lit street.
Hello, Gloopy Alien. I wonder if he knows what this here finger of mine is for? Hah.
Speaking of weird and Gloopy Aliens, the founder of modern Karate, Gichin Funakoshi, was about 80 years old, and was out for his nightly walk. The night was ominous, Japan was in an unsettled state, and he saw a mugger waiting on a street corner. Gichin knew, deep in his heart, that that mugger was going to try to mug him.
Hey, you think a mugger's going to risk picking on somebody who is big? Nope, muggers want to get on with their work with the least amount of personal risk, you know? Smart guys, these muggers are.
To continue with the tale, Gichin keeps walking, and he makes sure he looks feeble and doddering, and as he passes the mugger and the mugger leaps at him, he whirls and grabs the mugger with a grip of steel. Now, you might be wondering just how he gripped the mugger. A nerve center that immobilizes the body totally--a death grip on the carotid artery?
Well, uh, no. He grabbed him by the, um, chestnuts. The cajones, you know..the apples.
He grabbed him by the children he might sire some day, by the future, by his only source of fun on those long, lonely nights that frustrate a mugger when he is all by himself and can't find anybody who even remotely likes him. Now the founder of modern Karate has a mugger by the embarrassment, and what is he going to do next? Does he flick a set of knuckles to the throat and crunch the Adam's apple...cause it to swell up and stop the mugger from breathing?
Does he execute a spear thrust with one hand to the chest and pluck the mugger's heart out and take a big bite while the horrified mugger watches in horror? Or does he just start to squeeze. Squeeze slowly, and watch the blood drain out of the mugger's face, and the life right out of his shaking body, and the very joy out of his future?
Squeeze, until the nutty pulp runs out from between his gnarly, old fingers. Squeeze, until a loud popping sound fills the night air. Squeeze, until the mugger screams like a little girl and falls to the pavement, never to enjoy the feel of loving again.
Gichin called for the constabules. Yep, he stood on that street corner and held that mugger and waited for the police. And the mugger was trotted away to jail to think about his crimes, and the unnerving experience of having his manhood held by another man.
What a lesson for a mugger, eh? Another lesson of the interesting type would be if you looked up the history of the word testament and where it really comes from. Anyway, the reason I relayed this little anecdote is this...don't walk down that dark alley.
Yep. My students have heard me say this, and they know what I mean. When you have a choice of a long walk down a lit street, or a short trip through a dark alley, take the long way.
You can tell you've made it to the top of the martial arts when you can see a dark alley before you reach it. A sunny street in a friendly part of town might be a dark alley if there's some mugger waiting for you. And you should have developed, through those endless hours of practice, the extra perception to know the difference between a dark alley and a well lit street.
About the Author:
Al Case, forty+ years experience in the martial arts invites you to walk down the dark alley known as Monster Martial Arts. This and other unique content '' articles are available with free reprint rights.
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