Thursday, April 16, 2009

Just Buy Pepper Spray Already

By Nui Kahuna

Boy oh boy! Yesterday I thought I would have a little fun quoting Big Frank and his opinion, and a whole bunch of people got upset because they thought I was dissing their favorite rock star. My point really was that Big Frank would know how to handle a mook, and that he could really sing, unlike many rock and rollers, who can only shout with the best of them.

I received emails that reminded me of the Beatles, The Stones (according to Mick, you could be a rock a star if you could play three chords and just shout), El Viz, Buddy Holly, Jim Morrison (the three chord wonder man, but for me he's no poet), Jim Croce and so on and so forth.

As I grew up, I've listened to all this stuff, I have also watched a lot of bands live at different venues, and concerts around the country. But I've moved on in so many ways, though I still like some of them in small doses. And though it doesn't happen very often anymore, I still eventually pull out a Led Zeppelin CD and listen to it.

There are three guys my age on a public television station here who have a weekly rock and roll show where they discuss the minutiae of bands, concerts, and rock and roll, and all I can think of when I listen is; what a colossal waste of time and energy.

I don't really care what a drug addled Jerry Garcia said backstage at a concert in 1993. I don't have the time to wonder that the lyrics of song really meant back in 1978, or if the dude was high on acid when he wrote it. I've moved on, and so have all the others who have achieved something in their life.

Apparently, I have a calling, and that is to help as many people as I can from the hands of junkies, particularly from violent mooks and junkies who easily hurt folks without remorse, hurt their victim as easily as they would eat a burger.

Some school of thought out there thinks that all this chaos, adversity and unrest is a result of inequality and other excuses. But we all know that this reasoning is a bunch of bunk.

Mooks become mooks because they make bad choices. It's easier to be a mook than hold a job. It's fun to intimidate people. It's a rush to take things away from people.

I have a police friend who told me about a crook whom he arrested just a week ago, after the crook tried to rob a couple at a local mall. The crook was so clueless that the couple he tried to rob were the vigilant kind, so the husband sprayed him with some Wildfire pepper spray, the suspect got hurt instead of the victim, the crook found himself with a huge patch of dye on his face. So as for the part of my police friend, it's made easy for them, cause it only took them two minutes to identify the perpetrator.

The mook cried in the back seat of the cruiser, bellowing about how the spray should be illegal. "Nobody should be able to paint my face!" he said. "Once he painted my face, I didn't have a chance!" he said.

Well, if you think that junkies get back on the street easily now, wait till B.O. starts appointing judges. It would be scary having a rapist charged by some occasional addle-head with only 60 days sentences, like in Nebraska and Vermont. And sadly, junkies, including the violent and illegal ones will have more rights and guts than ever before as the sentences are getting more and more lenient as we try more rehabilitation.

buy pepper spray, it's gonna be a very long four years.

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