Posts
Every day, I get calls from athletes who feel that they are lacking in self-confidence. I am currently working with a skier, a swimmer, a bowler, a tennis player, a pitcher, a second baseman, a golf pro and two soccer players. All of these people are trying to believe in themselves a bit more and trying to elevate their self-confidence.Yesterday,I got a call from a baseball player who is playing triple a ball for a major league team. He is worried because he has been in a hitting slump. In addition, he is fearful that his lack of confidence will prevent him from making it into the major leagues. Obviously, he is under some significant pressure and to make matters worse, he is doubting himself.
So, let's look at these habits in more detail:Keep Your Word - To Yourself And Others.This sounds very simple - but often it isn't.For example, how often do you tell yourself you're going to do something and then you don't, like exercise perhaps? How often do you NOT keep your promise to others? Whenever this happens, not only is there an underlying feeling of dissatisfaction within yourself but also you are providing your subconscious mind with evidence that you don't do what you say you will... that you are someone whom can not be trusted.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
Baby steps are the key here. If you try to do too much too soon, you will inevitably let something slip, and guess who will be watching?Choose Positive Self Talk.The primary keyword here is CHOOSE. No matter how many successes we have or how many things we do well, we continually doubt ourselves and our abilities.It might have something to do with the fact that over 75% of what we think is negative, which is completely counterproductive. With these kinds of statistics, it's no wonder we struggle to feel good about ourselves.One of the most important changes we can make in our life is choosing our self-talk.
We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised.
When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.
Be Courageous.Get out of your head and just do it.Low self-confident people tend to procrastinate and worry. They end up being hung up over negative outcomes and failures of the past, and they can't seem to find the courage to move forward.Highly self-confident people have learned that in order to succeed, they can create the possibility of being courageous anytime they want... this way, even if they are afraid, they can choose to take action... in spite of fear!
Other things you can do to build your self-confidence are:Learn something new. Learn a new language. Chicks are impressed by French and Italian. They're not impressed by Ancient Greek. Some women are impressed by your vast knowledge of the opera, some by your skills at cooking. Not many will be impressed by your love for Starcraft 2.Hit the gym. How important is it to look good? For yourself, VERY important. For her, somewhat important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
At university I had a fear of public speaking. My mentor asked me why and I mentioned it was because I was afraid that people would laugh at me. He asked me if I laughed at people when they were talking in public and I realised that I did not. I had thought for ages that strangers were possessed of the most negative traits and in fact most people are kind and interested, otherwise they wouldn't have been listening to me in the first place.Women are like that.
Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured-Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.
So, let's look at these habits in more detail:Keep Your Word - To Yourself And Others.This sounds very simple - but often it isn't.For example, how often do you tell yourself you're going to do something and then you don't, like exercise perhaps? How often do you NOT keep your promise to others? Whenever this happens, not only is there an underlying feeling of dissatisfaction within yourself but also you are providing your subconscious mind with evidence that you don't do what you say you will... that you are someone whom can not be trusted.
Tactic Two: Do not let past failures keep you emotionally downtrodden. Nobody is perfect, but we must strive to be better individuals on a daily basis. If we make a conscious decision to let our past failures keep us in the dumps, we will continue to have negative experiences and behavioral patterns henceforth. Failure is as natural as life itself; dust it off and move right along.Tactic Three: Humor your flaws. Everyone has flaws. Do not let your flaws become intrusive barricades that hinder or bring halt to your life. When you can laugh at your flaws, you will start to blossom and grow. Laughter can mend a broken spirit. Humor will help you along the journey to improve your self-esteem.Tactic Four: Love Yourself! No, I am talking about being arrogant or egotistical. Self-love is when you realize you are of great purpose and great value. You can not truly love others unless you can first love yourself.
Baby steps are the key here. If you try to do too much too soon, you will inevitably let something slip, and guess who will be watching?Choose Positive Self Talk.The primary keyword here is CHOOSE. No matter how many successes we have or how many things we do well, we continually doubt ourselves and our abilities.It might have something to do with the fact that over 75% of what we think is negative, which is completely counterproductive. With these kinds of statistics, it's no wonder we struggle to feel good about ourselves.One of the most important changes we can make in our life is choosing our self-talk.
We come into this world with total self-confidence/self-esteem. An infant has self-confidence/self-esteem that their cries will get them what they need--food, diaper change, cuddling, communication, soothing, etc. If the child's needs are readily met and the child senses they are accepted unconditionally they flourish. If their basic needs for survival and emotional sustenance are only met sporadically or poorly their sense of self-confidence/self-esteem begins to deteriorate. If the child continues to experience deprivation they begin to view themselves as not being good enough to be cared for or cared about. Their birth-right to self-confidence/self-esteem has been compromised.
When you're in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it's probably because he's the one who's had the guts to ask her out.One of my favourite sayings is - "Women go out with men who ask them". Now this doesn't mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you're not going to get a woman if you don't ask her out. And often you'll be surprised at the results.
Be Courageous.Get out of your head and just do it.Low self-confident people tend to procrastinate and worry. They end up being hung up over negative outcomes and failures of the past, and they can't seem to find the courage to move forward.Highly self-confident people have learned that in order to succeed, they can create the possibility of being courageous anytime they want... this way, even if they are afraid, they can choose to take action... in spite of fear!
Other things you can do to build your self-confidence are:Learn something new. Learn a new language. Chicks are impressed by French and Italian. They're not impressed by Ancient Greek. Some women are impressed by your vast knowledge of the opera, some by your skills at cooking. Not many will be impressed by your love for Starcraft 2.Hit the gym. How important is it to look good? For yourself, VERY important. For her, somewhat important.
Find someone who is already confident in the area of expertise you need and watch how they do it. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don't have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
At university I had a fear of public speaking. My mentor asked me why and I mentioned it was because I was afraid that people would laugh at me. He asked me if I laughed at people when they were talking in public and I realised that I did not. I had thought for ages that strangers were possessed of the most negative traits and in fact most people are kind and interested, otherwise they wouldn't have been listening to me in the first place.Women are like that.
Project yourself into the future and ask if what you're faced with is as onerous as you fear. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You're reviewing your life. Is what you're faced with now even going to pop up? That's highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. Nothing ventured-Nothing gained. To get what you want, ask for it. If you consistently ask people for what you want, you will get it. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that several people out there want to and would be willing to help you if you only ask? People will help because they know they might need help in the future and you might be a source. Whether that is true or not in the "real world" is irrelevant. The belief is empowering, I invite you to adopt it.
About the Author:
Get complete details about How To Get What You Want In Life and How To Gain Self Confidence ,now.
No comments:
Post a Comment