Posts
If you have ever nervously talked to a pal before going on a date before, or had to muster up the courage to inform somebody something important, you have doubtless heard the old saying "just be yourself" plenty of times.
But what if you are shy or just naturally anxious?
Well, in a lot of ways this advice is essentially the best and the worst advice you might get.
It's the best advice as it is totally correct. Nevertheless it is also the worst information because so many people think that they are being themselves when they actually aren't.
You see, as an example, although you believe you might actually be naturally shy, that truly isn't you. Embarrassment is nothing more than a kind of social phobia. A dread or concern about what others will think about you.
The genuine you is the uninhibited you that lies underneath any inhibitions or fears. You are not the total of your limitations or inhibitions.
The goal then becomes not attempting to just act naturally, but with endeavoring toward being your "best self."
The way that you do this is not to learn some pick up lines to meet ladies, comeback lines to "defeat" your man during your next argument, or subtle psychological triggers to make your partner respect you more.
The secret is to remove the stuff that is already keeping you from being your real self, not adding more things on top of that.
The hidden secret to being yourself isn't to learn more, it is to unlearn all the many tiny things you do or do not do that keep you from absolutely expressing yourself to others in your life.
The way that you're, right now, you are completely good enough to get all of the love, affection, and respect that you want. The difficulty isn't in learning the best way to manipulate people, but in the easiest way to remove the blocks that you instituted yourself that keep you from getting what you need in the first place.
And that's truly what people mean when they tell you to just be yourself. They want you to let go of all the anxiety and nervousness that you cling to, All the reasons why you do not accept that you merit what you need, and all of the convictions that you don't believe that you are enough.
As an alternative let go of those thoughts and embrace the person you already are.
But what if you are shy or just naturally anxious?
Well, in a lot of ways this advice is essentially the best and the worst advice you might get.
It's the best advice as it is totally correct. Nevertheless it is also the worst information because so many people think that they are being themselves when they actually aren't.
You see, as an example, although you believe you might actually be naturally shy, that truly isn't you. Embarrassment is nothing more than a kind of social phobia. A dread or concern about what others will think about you.
The genuine you is the uninhibited you that lies underneath any inhibitions or fears. You are not the total of your limitations or inhibitions.
The goal then becomes not attempting to just act naturally, but with endeavoring toward being your "best self."
The way that you do this is not to learn some pick up lines to meet ladies, comeback lines to "defeat" your man during your next argument, or subtle psychological triggers to make your partner respect you more.
The secret is to remove the stuff that is already keeping you from being your real self, not adding more things on top of that.
The hidden secret to being yourself isn't to learn more, it is to unlearn all the many tiny things you do or do not do that keep you from absolutely expressing yourself to others in your life.
The way that you're, right now, you are completely good enough to get all of the love, affection, and respect that you want. The difficulty isn't in learning the best way to manipulate people, but in the easiest way to remove the blocks that you instituted yourself that keep you from getting what you need in the first place.
And that's truly what people mean when they tell you to just be yourself. They want you to let go of all the anxiety and nervousness that you cling to, All the reasons why you do not accept that you merit what you need, and all of the convictions that you don't believe that you are enough.
As an alternative let go of those thoughts and embrace the person you already are.
About the Author:
If you found this helpful and you'd like to learn more about love advice, check out this article on how to just be yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment