Saturday, March 30, 2013

How to Be an Assertive Communicator

By Zoe Smith


It is impossible to live in this world and not be in contact with another person. As such, it is of vital importance that we develop good communication skills to be able to express ourselves clearly and in doing so, establish better relationships with the people around us. What is assertive communication and how can we use this to our best advantage?

All people communicate. You may not know it, but you are employing a kind of communication style that reflects your current state of mind. Passive and aggressive communication styles are utilized by people with low self esteem. Either they shun expressing their own views, or they forcefully put it upon people because they want to be right all the time. Some people can also be classified as passive-aggressive communicators. They will look passive, but they actually undermine other people subtly because they feel threatened, angry or resentful.

Obviously, we just discussed the communication styles that we should NOT use. However, it might be that you find yourself in one of these categories. Be very honest with yourself and check if you need to improve in this area- otherwise you can ruin vital relationships in your life. If you think you need work, then use this tool and purpose to become a better communicator starting right now.

Therefore the best communicators are the assertive communicators. These individuals are forthright and open when they express themselves and they are respectful of other people's views and opinions. They have a healthy self image so they do not have to put other people down or shy away from speaking out their own thoughts.

Being an assertive communicator will positively impact your professional life. Decision making techniques necessitate that one be self-possessed, honest and straightforward for maximum efficacy. Passive personalities will not command respect, and aggressive decision makers are likely to be overbearing and offensive to other people. Assertive decision makers solicit confidence and inspire his/her team to work towards the fulfillment of the goal.

Assertive communication will also help you have better relationships in your personal life as well. Many times we do not want to hurt a loved one's feelings and in doing so, become detrimental to their growth as individuals. Being able to tell them in a respectful and loving manner things that can be improved upon will make for a better bond and a stronger relationship.

So how can we improve in this particular quality? The first thing you need to do is to have a deeper understanding and appreciation of yourself. If you have a healthy self-image or self esteem, you will not shy away from asserting your rights; nor will you feel the need to strongly defend yourself because you feel vulnerable and attacked. Place a high and healthy value on your own person by taking time to develop yourself spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.

A healthy self image results in good self esteem. When you are happy with yourself, you won't be shy about your own opinions; nor will you be defensive and be on attack mode when somebody disagrees with your views. Make it a priority to develop your spiritual, emotional and mental condition to enjoy a higher level of existence and quality of living. But even if we do all this, we cannot help it if other people misunderstand us. Miscommunication is a staple in life so do not be upset when it happens. Do the right thing regardless and don't be defined by what other people think or say. Live well and enjoy all the richness that life has to offer you-you will be glad you did.




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