Tuesday, March 26, 2013

How to Be an Efficient Listener

By Hal Neff


Efficient communication is one of the secrets to success, and when you're good at it, people notice.

Most people believe that building up communication skills requires establishing convincing speech and conversational abilities, but what you might not realize is just how critical effective listening can be.

Without an efficient listener, none of your conversational skills would matter. This is because your own points - no matter how clear - still wouldn't be noticed or understood.

Keep in mind that listening is a full 50% of the interaction effort so it's well worth your time to establish this precious skill, too.

Here are some approaches you can use to build your listening skills:

1 . Fight the urge to talk. Sometimes when you are in a heated conversation, you start to pay attention to what you are going to say next. You can even be tempted to open up your mouth before the other person is finished. Try to make the extra effort to keep your lips sealed until they're done talking.

* While they're speaking, don't worry about what you are going to say or how you're going to say it. Instead, focus on the words and body language of the other person.

2 . Look interested. Your nonverbal communication skills are crucial while you're listening. If you are looking disinterested and uncaring, the individual trying to talk with you will likely pick up on these subtle hints. They might be flustered or less likely to reveal their views. Makes sense, right?

* Engage with the person talking. Create eye contact and nod your head or smile. Let your discussion partner know that their ideas are coming across to you.

3. Repeat the highlights. One way to literally tell your conversation partner that they are effectively conversing is to simply restate their ideas. You could repeat key phrases in an affirming tone. You may even give them a quick summary of what they just said in your own words.

* Refrain from sharing your views when repeating their concepts or ideas. At this point, you simply want to convey that you have fully understood their meaning.

4. Ask questions. Do not be afraid to ask your conversation partner to expand on what they are saying. If you need more information, then ask for it. The important thing is that you grasp what they are trying to get across.

5. Be patient. It's also important to maintain patience, especially when working with individuals who might be shy or may not have the skill to communicate very well. If you're not patient, you might end the discussion prematurely or scare off your conversation partner.

6. Follow your partner's lead. Being an efficient listener does not imply that your only job is to listen. You can certainly add to the discussion, too. At the same time, you don't want to overpower the conversation. Add your input when they ask for it or when they've finished their point.

Remember that practice makes perfect. After you've had an important conversation, ask yourself what you remember from the conversation. Write down the details if possible. Did you allow the other person to do most of the talking?

If you fight the urge to dominate conversations, you will be able to really hear what people have to say!




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