Sunday, April 7, 2013

Tips For Overcoming Shyness and Social Anxiety

By Ollie M. Buhr


Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and you can overcome it when you learn the right way to go about it. The problem is that you have not been exposed to accurate, proven ways to deal with shyness.Shyness can be defined as having difficulty creating a rapport with other people. For many people, shyness can mean having a hard time thinking of things to say in a social setting.For others it can include physical symptoms of apprehension. For most people, it involves a combination of the two. Social behaviors that come easily to the average person such as smiling, making conversation, maintaining eye contact, and a relaxed posture are extremely difficult for the shy person to achieve.

Making friends and attending social functions may seem like a nightmare to a shy person. No one wants to stand in the corner alone, but a shy person may lack the ability to approach new people.You can learn how to overcome shyness and build confidence by developing new habits and social skills. Shy people may have to exert a large amount of effort in order to start a conversation or attend a party. Determination is a key factor in learning how to overcome shyness.

Learn to relax.Shyness and social anxiety often go hand in hand with an inability to relax.Relaxation is something that we seem to find harder to do as we get older but it's actually quite easy to get back into the habit.Whether you do something simple like a breathing exercise or you prefer to just lie down and listen to some relaxing music matters less than actually taking the time out to relax.Then make a mental note of the state of your mind when you're in deep relaxation and bring that state back to life when you find yourself in a situation that you'd previously have found stressful.

You must first determine why you are shy. There are always underlying reasons for the way a person reacts in certain situations.Next, try behaving in a confident manner in private and practice until you begin to see results in public. Walk confidently and speak firmly and soon you'll find yourself behaving the same confident way in social settings.As ridiculous as it may seem, forcing yourself to act as if you are not shy can be very helpful in learning how to overcome shyness altogether.

So what is it that causes us to experience shyness? We have all experienced shyness at some point in life to a certain degree but the root cause really boils down to the following,Weak self image, overly occupied with self, and labelling. All of these negatives may have happened at some point during life situations and experiences that you have not come to closure with. These produce the negative emotion that is shyness. So how does one overcome shyness? One of the main ways of battling shyness is to increases awareness. This means you need to take into control your experience of shyness.Fist step in overcoming your shyness is to understand it.Every one has a unique type of shyness that is triggered by certain events, settings and situations. You need to find out what exactly is causing your trigger and what it is that you are concerned about.

Combat your fears of rejections by realizing that everyone gets rejected at one point or another, everyone! Learn not to take rejection personally. Use it as a tool.Be honest and up front!... tell people that you are shy up front, be honest with them. You will not believe just how nervous and shy the other person is as well.Last but certainly not least. pray to God. Share your shyness with God and ask as him for the strength and courage to overcome it.

There are numerous resources available to you if you need help overcoming shyness. Professional advice and tips on how to overcome shyness can be very beneficial if you are having difficulty taking that first step.Many individuals have overcome shyness by learning how to communicate better. Now, you can, too! Have you ever stepped into an area full of people who you were not familiar with and felt a bit awkward or self-conscious? Do you experience bouts of anxiety when faced with situations that require you to be social? Are there people you want to talk to or activities that you want to take part in, but hold back due to some unspoken insecurity? If so, you are experiencing shyness. You may be introverted or extraverted. It really does not matter. We all experience bouts of shyness to one degree or another within our lifetime. Did you know that it is possible to successfully engage in overcoming shyness by simply learning how to communicate better? In this guide, you will learn some important facts and strategies that will allow you to eliminate the "shell" that may be holding you back in your personal and professional life.

According to professionals in social psychology, being shy means that an individual experiences apprehension or feelings of discomfort and/or awkwardness when in the same area as others, or when approached by other people. These feelings are often enhanced when in social situations, unfamiliar locations or around people who are unfamiliar. While it is common for everyone to experience shyness at least once in their life to a small degree, many individuals experience it to such a high degree that it results in social anxiety and/or phobias related to social situations, events and experiences. In its most severe forms, individuals that experience shyness may find that it interferes with their personal and professional relationships and hinders them to one degree or another. While many refer to therapy and even anti-anxiety medications to overcome shyness, simply learning to communicate better has also been found to be an effective strategy in overcoming shyness. Not only is this strategy less expensive than therapy and medication, it is also much safer.

Never run away from what it is that is making you uncomfortable,When you leave a setting or situation that is making you shy you are basically reinforcing that negative aspect of yourself and making it stronger. Turn these fearful situations into a period where you become the observer and dig into your psyche to find out what it is that is making you react in this way.

In order to communicate better, you must know what the person you are talking to is most interested in. I know this sounds challenging, but it is really quite simple - they are most interested in themselves and what they consider to be important to them. Remember to use the other person's name frequently and ask a lot of questions. Allow the other person to communicate freely and openly about what they want to express to you. Remember to listen and place the emphasis on the person that you are speaking to. By taking these steps, you are taking the pressure and focus off of yourself and inadvertently placing it on them - which should increase your self-confidence and motivation. This will make you an attractive person to talk to and interact with. Overcoming shyness does not have to be a challenging endeavor. Simply take the focus away from your negative thoughts about yourself and your insecurities and place it on the person you are talking with. It is then that you will truly start to communicate better.




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