Wednesday, March 20, 2013

How To Cope With Disappointment

By Hal Neff


Everyone faces disappointments in life, both big and small. Sadly, a lot of us choose to complain and whine about our troubles to the great irritation of others.

It is important to recognize our disappointments and not simply dismiss them, but how can we do it properly without being a nag to others? The solution lies in learning constructive ways to acknowledge disappointments.

* Disappointment can develop personality and persistence if you allow it to. Learning how to manage your disappointments constructively can make you a better person in the end.

Dealing with Disappointment

The first thing you need to do in learning to manage disappointment is acknowledge your own old dealing approaches. Everybody has them. Do you reach for the pint of ice cream or pull away in a room all alone? Do you get drunk and try to forget?

When you understand that your old strategy isn't working, it's time for you to create a fresh one.

Listed below are 5 tips for successfully dealing with your disappointments:

1 . Acknowledge what you're feeling. You could honestly convey the emotions you're feeling without blaming or punishing other individuals. This is about how you feel about the circumstance, not others. State your feelings without attacking other people. Always be considerate, but don't be frightened to let them know how you feel.

* There is not a correct or incorrect way to feel. Your emotions are valid and if you don't voice your viewpoint then you will harbor resentment and stress yourself out. Be truthful with yourself about how you really feel about the circumstance.

2 . Put things in viewpoint. Even little disappointments can seem monumental at first. But once you've expressed your pain, frustration, or fury, step back and look at the larger picture. How much of an effect is this disappointment going to have on you tomorrow, next week, or next year?

* Take a deep breath and go for a stroll to put your own disappointment into perspective. Taking time to reflect and step away from the situation will help calm your nerves so you will be better able to cope with the disappointment.

3. Do not doubt yourself. Often disappointment will make you feel like a failure. You may wonder why these things happen to you or you may believe you were dumb to get your hopes up in the first place. But none of that is the truth. Do not let yourself to give in to these negative thoughts!

*Disappointment is not exceptional to you. Everyone has been disappointed at some time in their life. Instead of getting down on yourself, think about what could have been done differently and learn from the experience.

4. Search for a solution or compromise. You cannot have your way all the time but sometimes there may be a second option that's reasonable to each party.

* Take a few deep breaths, relax, and look for the "silver lining. " It is possible to find something good in about any circumstance.

5. Reevaluate and create changes if possible. Sometimes when we experience disappointment, it may be a hint that we need to re-examine our priorities. Depending on the level of disappointment you are dealing with, you may need to make minor or major changes to your daily life.

* Learn to be adaptable. Refocusing your attention on your new goals will help you forget about your disappointment.

Do not Give Up

Any individual who has had even a small degree of success in life has faced disappointments.

* Winners simply don't quit. They learn from their failures and disappointments and carry on to accomplish their goals.

You could be your own biggest driving force! Do not underestimate the strength of encouraging yourself by saying, "I can do this. I will make it. I will get through this and be a better person!"

You do not need to enable disappointment to lower your self-confidence. That's not to say that you should gloss over your feeling, you could simply learn how to handle your disappointments effectively, then move ahead to bigger and better things.




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